I ran, and ran, and ran. I ran from God for a ridiculous amount of time. I was always running or hiding, but in my heart of hearts, I knew He was pursuing me. That’s what God does. He pursues us … even while we’re feigning indifference or choosing outright rebellion. He waits. And while He waited for me, the cavern grew deeper. The void in my soul was the Grand Canyon. My appetite was voracious; I could not be filled. I craved freedom, but I thought freedom was getting to choose my form of enslavement: drugs, alcohol, food, career, muscle tone, a new hairstyle, perfect nails, a new outfit, a husband, kids, a promotion at work, even church! I tried it all. Ironically, the only thing I refused to try was turning to the only One who was designed to fill me. It’s funny how we will try anything, all except the one thing we really need: the wholeness we were designed for–life in Christ.
When our son was born, I knew we would have to teach our kids something about God, but what? With prompting from my husband, I began to look skeptically at this Person the Christians talked about: Jesus Christ. Deuteronomy 4:29 says, “But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.” So I began to seek. And the more I investigated, the more intrigued I became. Could this be the Truth? Jesus said, “I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” So according to this, I can only be reconciled to God through Jesus Christ. “No way,” I kept thinking. “It can’t possibly be that simple. Can it? Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and I will be reconciled to God?”
Psalm 40:2 says, “He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
Well, it really is that simple. I believed, and my life has never been the same. Life with God is an incredible journey. He fills us, completes us. And journeying with Him is what we need to be whole. I thank God every day for this New Life. It’s not always easy. In fact, some days, it’s just plain hard. But when I live according to what I believe, I am complete … and that is always worth it. Now instead of running, I’m learning to rest in the love and peace and joy of Jesus.